MBA Turned Mama {Confessions}

Today as I was chewing the fingernail of my 15 month old while he was passed out in my arms, I started to laugh hysterically (okay, well, the hysterical part was more in my head than out loud). I was thinking how I would have judged anyone who told me that this approach was in fact the most effective one for trimming an antsy, squirmy 15 month old.

Then I started to think of all the things that would have turned my stomach and my nose up before I had children, which now does nothing but gives me joy for having been productive.

Here are a few other examples:

  1. I am on my hands and knees picking up the play area when I come upon a semi stale piece of rice cake. The trash can is all the way on the other side of the house. I quickly pop the crumb in my mouth and grab my toddler who is about to sprint off the side of the couch.
  2. I have two seconds to use the bathroom. Do I take the training seat off the toilet? Nope. Not this time. Maybe if the boys were asleep and/or I could lock, or, well, close the door.
  3. My son needs to be fed, well, wait, won’t stop breastfeeding. I have to pee. Do I pop him off and leave him crying on the floor, or allow him to continue his pleasant feeding experience and simultaneously find a way to go to the bathroom with him on my lap? Yup. You guessed it. The latter…
  4. I have a choice: Eat or Shower. I choose Pinterest.
  5. One hoodie sweatshirt has yogurt smeared on the right shoulder. The other hoodie sweatshirt has a soggy cheerio stuck in the hem. Wear one. Throw the other back to wear on another day. Easy.
  6. Mac and Cheese you made for the kids out of the pot for dinner? Sure, why dirty another dish?
  7. Said toddler needs a kleenex. You don’t have one. The sleeve actually works better.
  8. High five for going poopy in the potty? You betchya!

Please tell me I am not alone.

XX,
Marnie


Comments

  1. Sooo funny!! This is exactly me!

    I had to pee while out of the house yesterday (how dare I!) and my 14 month old wasn’t feeling independent. What to do? Yep, I peed with him in the Ergo. He kept looking at me like, “What’s going on, Mama?”
    Sarah recently posted…Stuffed ZucchiniMy Profile

  2. You are so not alone there!

  3. I watched my brother in law suck the snot out of his kid’s nose cause he was congested and didn’t have an aspirator. he did this! with his mouth!

  4. I completely related to every single one of these – especially the breastfeeding one. As for Kleenex, I don’t even bother buying them anymore. I think we are living parallel lives!
    Jen Fischer recently posted…Wordless Where the Wild Things Are WednesdayMy Profile

  5. Oh – forgot to mention that I once made cookies with my toddler while still breastfeeding the baby. That’s my type of Martha Stewart magic.
    Jen Fischer recently posted…Wordless Where the Wild Things Are WednesdayMy Profile

  6. Baby pees on leg, Mama hasn’t had time for laundry, ah well, trousers dry in minutes anyway ;)
    Daisy recently posted…The Fifty Things ChallengeMy Profile

  7. Nope, you’re definitely not alone. How about this one… you don’t think twice about having your child puke on you instead of puking all over themselves.
    Terri recently posted…Story Time: Books About RussiaMy Profile

  8. Brittney says:

    I have totally done a few of these, and I’m a new mom of a 5 month old! My mom told me that when my sister and I were little, she rarely had a shirt on that did not have snot, spit up or old food on it. She learned to breastfeed us while we were still in our car seats so they wouldn’t have to pull over on long trips and how she would hold our puke in her hand in front of our mouths, on the way to the bathroom. I thought she was weird and over the top, until I had my own baby. Now I try to remember some of her stories to get ideas or to make myself feel normal!

  9. I don’t know how many pieces of food I have eaten off the floor. My most embarrassing is sucking the snot out of my son’s nose. It really is just the most effective method! I used to give my mom a lot of crap for doing that one and now I completely understand.
    Amy recently posted…Homemade Photo Key Chains for Mother’s DayMy Profile

  10. Nope, definitely not alone. About the dirty shirts — it would always bring me comfort when I would get to work and realize I had spit-up on my shoulder. I would actually smell it throughout the day as my mind drifted from my work to thoughts of my babies. :)

  11. Only way we can cut T’s nails it by biting them off when they are asleep. I am always covered with various food substances or bodily substances from my kids as well as grass stains from crawling around in the dirt with them. I wouldn’t have it any other way :D. Although I do with I could go to the toilet without having 2 sitting on my knees my husband doesn’t have to do that!
    Cerys recently posted…Day 18 – 30 days to hands on playMy Profile

  12. LOL! Moms have the most disgusting but rewarding job in the world.
    Rebekah recently posted…Too Much TV for Kids?My Profile

  13. I think we can all relate to these things! And that’s why I find them funny. :) It’s nice to not be alone.
    Trisha recently posted…What Is It? WednesdayMy Profile

  14. Bahahaha! So not alone! I LOVE the Eat or Shower: I choose Pinterest (and read it outloud to my husband). Sometimes I wonder: Can I really go another day with washing my hair? Aha! A hat!
    Definitely gone pee while nursing many times!
    And OY VEY to the fingernails!!! My 7 months old nails grow like weeds!! I hate nail trimming!
    The Iowa Farmer’s Wife recently posted…Baby & Toddler Sensory BottlesMy Profile

  15. HA! So not alone. I especially identify with numbers 4 and 5. My personal hygiene has really suffered since having children.
    Heather recently posted…Recipe Round Up – Other People’s RecipesMy Profile

  16. I have to say I do all of the above. I could add a few to this list too. Thanks for the laugh. I loved reading this post!
    crystal recently posted…Bubble Wrap Sensory Sliding FunMy Profile

  17. This is such a great post!! Oh motherhood is glorious :) I especially loved your number 4. Lol!
    Joyce recently posted…Pretend Play- FishingMy Profile

  18. OMG Marnie this is the best! Thanks for the chuckle. You are definitely NOT alone. I’ve even been at #3 before lol. I like #4 too!
    Jen recently posted…Mother’s Day Gifts: Butterfly Footprints & Made With Love LinkyMy Profile

  19. perfect! but is the high five for you or the kid? the lines blur! :)
    tricia recently posted…But…She Doesn’t Like Me.My Profile

  20. hahaha, oh come on, we’ve all been there! Love the eat or shower? = pinterest. My hair needs to be washed every 2nd day or it just looks yuk…. have you heard of dry shampoo? lol. Well, Oh dear, thanks to the wonders of dry shampoo, I think i’m up to day…5? Shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone! lol
    Debs – Learn with Play recently posted…Playdough, Pipe Cleaners and Beads. Invitation to PlayMy Profile

  21. Haha. You are not alone at all! Sometimes I don’t even use my sleeve for the runny nose…just my hand and then wipe it in my pants. Sigh. Noses are tricky…how else do you get the boogies out that are dry other than using your own fingers while they are wailing for you to stop touching their nose? ;) When given the choice of doing laundry, cooking, or cleaning up – I always choose computer time too!
    Gina recently posted…Day 39: Checking Out Our OnionsMy Profile

  22. Ha ha, I love #4!

  23. This post made me smile because it’s so true… I’ve been through most of those and can totally relate :) Great post

  24. Love, love, love! Not alone at all :)
    maryanne recently posted…Exploring Geography: Washington State Salmon!My Profile

  25. I do #6 all the time! Who needs dinner plates. I used to think it was gross when mom’s would drink out of the same cup or container as their teething toddlers that slobbered on it….I’ve done it myself now!

  26. I’m just impressed that while breast feeding you were able to move to the loo. I used to get pointed under goblin. I remember once being so desperate for the loo I contemplated how bad it would be to just wet myself in the sofa – I decided against it but it was a close cut thing
    the monko recently posted…Kids Co-op Link Up (#8 for me)My Profile

  27. Oh you are so not alone Marnie…and you just made me feel a lot better about my day with the twins today!!!
    Jode recently posted…Thrifty Thursday Fun….Toddler Threading!My Profile

  28. I clearly remember my very first day home alone with both a toddler and a newborn : breastfeeding the newborn with one arm, while wiping a toddler bum with the other, and thinking “Ah, so THIS is what it’s like being a mum to TWO! This is my life now.”
    Jane recently posted…{Imaginary Play Fairy Garden – Outdoor Play Party}My Profile

  29. Oh, no, Marnie, you are not alone. I have so totally done the breastfeeding while sitting on the potty thing. And I do love your answer to “Eat or Shower”. Yup, Pinterest. Excellent choice.

  30. Love this! You are definitely not alone! Ahh the life of mums :)
    Isil recently posted…Book Sharing Monday:Zou and the Box of KissesMy Profile

  31. I have done these things and I won’t let me son do them too.
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted…Lunch Recipe for Kids- Painted Milk SandwichMy Profile

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