MBA Turned Mama {Confessions}

Today as I was chewing the fingernail of my 15 month old while he was passed out in my arms, I started to laugh hysterically (okay, well, the hysterical part was more in my head than out loud). I was thinking how I would have judged anyone who told me that this approach was in fact the most effective one for trimming an antsy, squirmy 15 month old.

Then I started to think of all the things that would have turned my stomach and my nose up before I had children, which now does nothing but gives me joy for having been productive.

Here are a few other examples:

  1. I am on my hands and knees picking up the play area when I come upon a semi stale piece of rice cake. The trash can is all the way on the other side of the house. I quickly pop the crumb in my mouth and grab my toddler who is about to sprint off the side of the couch.
  2. I have two seconds to use the bathroom. Do I take the training seat off the toilet? Nope. Not this time. Maybe if the boys were asleep and/or I could lock, or, well, close the door.
  3. My son needs to be fed, well, wait, won’t stop breastfeeding. I have to pee. Do I pop him off and leave him crying on the floor, or allow him to continue his pleasant feeding experience and simultaneously find a way to go to the bathroom with him on my lap? Yup. You guessed it. The latter…
  4. I have a choice: Eat or Shower. I choose Pinterest.
  5. One hoodie sweatshirt has yogurt smeared on the right shoulder. The other hoodie sweatshirt has a soggy cheerio stuck in the hem. Wear one. Throw the other back to wear on another day. Easy.
  6. Mac and Cheese you made for the kids out of the pot for dinner? Sure, why dirty another dish?
  7. Said toddler needs a kleenex. You don’t have one. The sleeve actually works better.
  8. High five for going poopy in the potty? You betchya!

Please tell me I am not alone.

XX,
Marnie

Comments

  1. says

    Sooo funny!! This is exactly me!

    I had to pee while out of the house yesterday (how dare I!) and my 14 month old wasn’t feeling independent. What to do? Yep, I peed with him in the Ergo. He kept looking at me like, “What’s going on, Mama?”
    Sarah recently posted…Stuffed ZucchiniMy Profile

  2. says

    I watched my brother in law suck the snot out of his kid’s nose cause he was congested and didn’t have an aspirator. he did this! with his mouth!

  3. Brittney says

    I have totally done a few of these, and I’m a new mom of a 5 month old! My mom told me that when my sister and I were little, she rarely had a shirt on that did not have snot, spit up or old food on it. She learned to breastfeed us while we were still in our car seats so they wouldn’t have to pull over on long trips and how she would hold our puke in her hand in front of our mouths, on the way to the bathroom. I thought she was weird and over the top, until I had my own baby. Now I try to remember some of her stories to get ideas or to make myself feel normal!

  4. says

    I don’t know how many pieces of food I have eaten off the floor. My most embarrassing is sucking the snot out of my son’s nose. It really is just the most effective method! I used to give my mom a lot of crap for doing that one and now I completely understand.
    Amy recently posted…Homemade Photo Key Chains for Mother’s DayMy Profile

  5. polly says

    Nope, definitely not alone. About the dirty shirts — it would always bring me comfort when I would get to work and realize I had spit-up on my shoulder. I would actually smell it throughout the day as my mind drifted from my work to thoughts of my babies. :)

  6. says

    Only way we can cut T’s nails it by biting them off when they are asleep. I am always covered with various food substances or bodily substances from my kids as well as grass stains from crawling around in the dirt with them. I wouldn’t have it any other way :D. Although I do with I could go to the toilet without having 2 sitting on my knees my husband doesn’t have to do that!
    Cerys recently posted…Day 18 – 30 days to hands on playMy Profile

  7. says

    Bahahaha! So not alone! I LOVE the Eat or Shower: I choose Pinterest (and read it outloud to my husband). Sometimes I wonder: Can I really go another day with washing my hair? Aha! A hat!
    Definitely gone pee while nursing many times!
    And OY VEY to the fingernails!!! My 7 months old nails grow like weeds!! I hate nail trimming!
    The Iowa Farmer’s Wife recently posted…Baby & Toddler Sensory BottlesMy Profile

  8. says

    Haha. You are not alone at all! Sometimes I don’t even use my sleeve for the runny nose…just my hand and then wipe it in my pants. Sigh. Noses are tricky…how else do you get the boogies out that are dry other than using your own fingers while they are wailing for you to stop touching their nose? ;) When given the choice of doing laundry, cooking, or cleaning up – I always choose computer time too!
    Gina recently posted…Day 39: Checking Out Our OnionsMy Profile

  9. MiaB says

    This post made me smile because it’s so true… I’ve been through most of those and can totally relate :) Great post

  10. says

    I do #6 all the time! Who needs dinner plates. I used to think it was gross when mom’s would drink out of the same cup or container as their teething toddlers that slobbered on it….I’ve done it myself now!

  11. says

    I’m just impressed that while breast feeding you were able to move to the loo. I used to get pointed under goblin. I remember once being so desperate for the loo I contemplated how bad it would be to just wet myself in the sofa – I decided against it but it was a close cut thing
    the monko recently posted…Kids Co-op Link Up (#8 for me)My Profile

  12. says

    Oh, no, Marnie, you are not alone. I have so totally done the breastfeeding while sitting on the potty thing. And I do love your answer to “Eat or Shower”. Yup, Pinterest. Excellent choice.

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