Relationships

25+ Exciting & Thoughtful Questions to Ask Kids EVERY Day

By Marnie Craycroft Leave a Comment Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Chores and Routines, Family, Positive Parenting, Relationships This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Please read my disclosure for more info.

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Communicating with kids is not easy. Getting kids to listen or to talk to you about their lives when you're not around is difficult. Still, we have to find a way. The point of asking kids questions about school or their day is to gather information, to help your child express and process his emotions, and to build your relationship with your child. The last thing you want to do is shut your child down by asking a yes/no question. The questions for your kids should be open-ended. So, how do you get your kids to talk about school?

The idea is not to have a hundred questions to ask your kids at dinner time but find a few to add into your daily routine. Make asking questions about one another’s days intentional and soon it will be organic.

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. ~ Plato

I came up with questions below but not all of these questions will work for your family. Pick and choose from the ideas or simply use these questions as inspiration to come up with your own.

Questions to Ask Kids about School

When was someone kind to you today?
When were you kind to someone?
What was the hardest part of your day?
What was easy?
What type of games did you play on the playground today?
Which special class did you enjoy the most?
Which character did you enjoy most in your read aloud today?
Tell me about a time someone made you laugh today
Tell me about a time when you felt uncomfortable today

Questions to Ask Kids about Mom

Another fun twist on asking kids questions is to ask questions about yourself.

What is Mom’s favorite food?
What does mom like to do when you’re in school?
What does mom do after you’re in bed?
Who is mom’s favorite person in the whole world?
If mom was going on a trip and could invite one friend, who would it be?
What makes mom laugh?

Silly Questions to Ask Kids at the End of the Day

There is no sound more enjoyable than the sound of my child’s laughter. So, make your questions for kids fun and silly.

Humor and laughter are good things. It is vital to be serious at times but also important not to take life so seriously.

We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do. ~ Mother Teresa

If you could be any animal in the world, which animal would you be?
One morning you wake up to discover your brother has a tail. Do you tell him?
One morning you wake up to discover you have wings, what is your first move?
If you had one superpower, which superpower would that be?
Would you rather be able to see in the dark or the ability to be invisible?
Who is your favorite mythical creature?
If you were a dog, which kind would you be?
Which superhero would you be and why?
Would you rather be a lion or a shark?
Would you rather be an elephant or a monkey?
If you could choose any special talent, what would you choose?

Sometimes the best way to connect with your kids is to not say anything at all. Instead, you can listen to them and use your eyes to connect. There is a lot of pressure to be on top of our kids. I love talking with my kids but more than anything I love simply being with my kids. These questions to ask kids will undoubtedly help you connect with your child and learn more about your child but don't ever feel bad about simply leaving your child alone. That helps him, too. I promise.

The Most Beautiful Words a Teacher Said

By Marnie Craycroft Leave a Comment Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Living, Relationships This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Please read my disclosure for more info.

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Close your eyes.

Think about your life, the people who have impacted your life, and why.

When I was a senior in high school my english teacher chose my essay to read aloud to the class:

“Marnie, would you like to share this essay with the class?”

Spotlight was unexpectedly on me. My cheeks burned with embarrassment and I could feel the redness flash across my face, but I nodded, ‘yes'.

Strength of Words

I held my paper in my hands. My hands shook but I began to read the essay. It was a personal essay. That was our assignment. We could write about anything we wanted to get out onto paper. As a lover of writing, my favorite assignments gave me autonomy to be me and express myself without constraints, but I didn't anticipate having to say these words out loud to a room full of peers.

So, I began. I remember the first sentence still, over 20 years later:

“I've never been able to forgive my father for leaving my family. He made a stupid mistake and died. He left my mom alone and he left his three kids without a dad. I hate him.”

It was the first time I had expressed anger towards my father for his death over 17 years prior to that day.

Grief's journey experiences peaks and troughs throughout time. For some the grieving process is quick: denial, sadness, anger, acceptance, and so on.

For me, it took 17 years to get to that anger space.

I resented my father for being careless that hot, humid August day. I didn't realize the force of this emotion until I began to read the words found within my essay.

I was unable to finish reading the essay. I gave my best effort before a close friend took over for me. My body choked out the words until I could no longer squeeze them out.

This moment defined my understanding of the grieving process and how profound the journey can be for each of us in different ways.

Truthfully, my tears and inability to finish my reading embarrassed me greatly. I laughed it off with my friends but I felt the heaviness of the emotional experience throughout the day.

At the end of the day, there was a note in my mailbox. There were few words on the card but the words stuck with me for a lifetime. My teacher wrote:

“Adversity breeds strength & goodness.”

That short statement summed up my family's life. For that fact, I am deeply greatly.

Now, close your eyes again. Think about your life and the impact you're making on those lives around you.

You never know when you'll do something or say something that will impact a child for a lifetime.

How I Am Helping My Angry Child

By Marnie Craycroft Leave a Comment Filed Under: Parenting, Social & Emotional Intelligence Tagged With: Family, Positive Parenting, Relationships This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Please read my disclosure for more info.

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Is it possible to love someone so much that they make you miserable?

I care so deeply about my children that when they struggle, I struggle with my own inadequacies, fear of failures, and worry that his pain is my fault in some way.

I worry about my relationship with my children. Do you? Parenting an angry child is tricky and requires a strong will. A child with challenging behavior is scary, uncertain, tense, worrisome, frustrating, and often filled with obstacles that set you (and maybe your child, too) back a few steps. I also worry about my child's relationship with his peers…

Guess what?

You. Are. Not. Alone.

Parenting an Angry Child

As a parent in your seat, I read articles, books, and blogs. I feel inspired, crushed, then inspired again. One of the most challenging aspects to parenting, generally, is the opportunity to practice skills that our kids need from us. Yes, skills children need to develop for themselves, but more importantly skills that we need to develop as parents, as communicators, and as educators. Without our lead, our children may be swimming, gasping for air (can you relate to that feeling?), in the deep end far longer than they need to be.

A while ago I wrote a post “Parenting an Angry Child Sucks“. In that post, I included 15 Tips. Some time we high level, while others honed in on details like specific communication tactics such as educating yourself and avoiding the question: “Why?” These tips I practice every day.

Grab your FREE Calming Strategies for Kids email course

Then, about a year ago I wrote another post with 13 additional tangible ideas to start using today to work with your challenging child.

Ideas included:

Choose Your Mountain
Respond Without Words
Connect With Your Child
Validate the Emotion

So those two parenting posts alone give you 30 ideas to start moving forward in helping your child and your relationship with your child.

How about two more? Just for good times? Here you go.

Two Ideas to Save Your Relationship With Your Child

Parent Child Interactive Therapy/Training

Parent Child Interaction Therapy, or PCIT, is a great method to check out if you're looking for ways to strengthen (or save) your relationship with your child and, quite frankly, your partner. The goal is to optimize for the child's success in life while maintaining a strong and open relationship with him. If you're worried about your relationship with your child and other family members, this approach may be for you.

PCIT is a treatment for emotionally and behaviorally challenged children but can help families with typically developing children, too. We opted to explore this therapy because of the inclusive nature. After all, our child is having a tough time with qualities that will either make or break her, qualities that aren't going to disappear. This approach is largely about parent coaching with the aims of “improving the quality of the parent/child relationship and interaction patterns.” For more information or to find a group that utilizes the PCIT approach, definitely check out the PCIT website for more information.

Collaborative Problem Solving

I have written previously about Dr. Ross Greene's Collaborative Problem Solving Approach I discovered while reading his book The Explosive Child. This approach is far more detailed than I can give you in this one post. I can point you to his extremely informative website. I can also let you know that there are therapists all over the world trained in this approach. The basic idea is that you think intentionally about your child's triggers (and your own for that matter), letting go of some issues while specifically focusing on certain issues (mostly one at a time) during calm moments. The idea is to minimize blow ups to find more time to work together to come up with child led solutions to the challenge areas. I like this approach because it acknowledges a child's cognitive inability to come up with options on his own. So, just like a child might lag in reading or math skills, a child may lag in problem solving skills, unable to come up with other options (and therefore is stuck on one – his own idea – option). We have the opportunity to work with the child and practice coming up with other ideas so that eventually it becomes second nature for all of us. Please check out Dr. Greene's website for loads more information including resources in your area.

I hope you found this post inspiring and helpful.

Marnie