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The Powerful Parenting Lessons I Learned from a Sex Expert

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You should start speaking to your children about sex as soon as they discover their private parts.

Yup. My two-year-old is already exploring and “gets it”. He is noticing the differences between my body and his body.

Are you freaked out yet?

Yeah, you’re not alone.

Sex

I recently had the fantastic opportunity to chat with Amy Lang, a sex expert who has been guiding parents for a decade on how to speak to children about sex.  Amy is a lot of fun. She is real, to the point and raw.

In the meantime, here are a few things I learned from Amy during our conversation.

Why We Should Talk to 3-Year-Olds about Sex

  1. The sex talk has much more to do with the adult than the child. Arm yourself with knowledge.
  2. Sex education in schools depends on the current political environment
  3. Using analogies is not the best approach (e.g. a seed sprouts a plant)
  4. Her15-year-old swears he will never speak to her about sex but she is confident he feels comfortable with his body & is armed with the right knowledge.
  5. Amy is a big fan of the PSA announcement lobbed into the back seat of the car randomly (e.g. “Did you know that it is NEVER okay for an adult to touch your private parts?”)
  6. If your child is touching his parts and giggle, acknowledge that it feels good but that he needs to be in private
  7. Don’t use the phrase “not appropriate” (guilty.)
  8. Sex education is about self-image, knowledge of how the body works, self-respect, and peer respect
  9. If your child isn’t going to learn about sex from you, he will learn about it from his friends
  10. If a young child is being chased by a young child (as young as 5 or 6) and says no, the job of the chaser is to stop.
  11. Be direct. Be straightforward. Be honest. Refer to body parts by the proper name. Talk about love.
  12. Talking about sex needs to begin with you. What are you bringing to the table? Be proactive. Be ready for these conversations. Kids are curious.

Be sure to check out Amy’s work on BirdsandBeesandKids.com. She offers amazing products and classes for parents. Sign up for Amy’s newsletter and receive a useful freebie!

Marnie

About Marnie Craycroft

Marnie hails from Maine where she spent summers buried in sand and winters buried in snow. She is the daughter of a nearly four decade veteran of the public school systems. Teaching has always been a part of her life. She founded Carrots Are Orange in 2010.

Carrots Are Orange is a Montessori learning and living website for parents and teachers.

Marnie graduated from Wesleyan University in 1999 with a BA in Economics. She spent nearly a decade working in investment management. In 2006, she earned her MA in business from the University of Washington’s Foster School of Business.

Marnie moved to the west coast in 1999 and currently lives in Boulder with her husband and three sons. She is Montessori trained. Her work has been featured on Apartment Therapy, Buzzfeed, PBS Kids, BabyCenter, the Melissa & Doug blog, Huffington Post, and WhattoExpect.com. Besides writing, passions include running (usually after her three sons), photography, and outdoor adventures.

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