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Exactly Where I Should Be

MBAMAMASERIES

I am always amazed at those moments – the smells and the sounds especially – that bring you back to a time and place in life many years ago. It is as though you’re there, feeling the sunshine, smelling the grass, hearing the laughter of friends close by. This afternoon I am sitting in my mother’s cabin on a beautiful lake in Maine. We’re visiting for a few weeks. My 18 month old is sprawled out next to me on this bed happily enjoying a good, hard sleep.

What an odd feeling it is to walk down a dirt road pulling my two young sons in a wagon with vivid memories of walking down the same road as a teenager, a college student home for the summer and a young adult without any strings attached.

As simple as that moment was for me this morning, I was struck, taken aback, not in a negative way but more in disbelief, in trying to comprehend and embrace the changes that come with the passing of time. When I was a teenager, I never could have imagined strolling down the same dirt roads on this tiny island nestled on a big beautiful lake as a mother. I kind of wanted to shout, “Hey Lake, hey Trees, hey awesome sunshine and fresh air, LOOK AT ME NOW!”

I suddenly felt extremely proud of, well, everything. I didn’t always make the right decisions along the way but somehow those decisions landed me here, enjoying a quiet morning as a young mother with two sons. My mother in the other room making sure we’re all happy and comfortable. I am exactly where I should be.

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