When a child is feeling impatient, they may not have the words to express their emotions or the patience to wait. Responding to impatience with calm and empathy can help them feel heard, teach emotional regulation, and model patience.
How to Respond to an Impatient Child
1. Acknowledge Their Feelings
“It sounds like waiting is really hard right now. I understand how you feel.”
- Why it works: Validating their emotions helps the child feel seen and reassured that their feelings are normal.
2. Offer a Time Frame
“I see you’re excited! We’ll start in five minutes. Can you count down with me?”
- Why it works: Giving a concrete time frame and involving them in the process gives them a sense of control and anticipation.
3. Redirect Their Energy
“I can see you’re eager! While we wait, let’s think of three things you’re excited about.”
- Why it works: Shifting their focus to something positive keeps them engaged and diverts attention from the waiting.
4. Use Visual Cues
“Let’s set the timer together. When it goes off, it’ll be time.”
- Why it works: Visual tools like timers can be powerful for children who have trouble grasping the concept of time.
5. Empathize and Model Patience
“I know it’s hard to wait. I get impatient, too. Let’s take a deep breath together while we wait.”
- Why it works: Modeling patience and providing strategies, like deep breathing, helps children learn to self-regulate.
6. Empower with a Choice
“Would you like to wait here with me or grab a book to read until it’s time?”
- Why it works: Offering choices gives them a sense of autonomy and helps them feel in control of the situation.
7. Engage Their Imagination
“While we wait, can you imagine what the first thing we’ll do will look like?”
- Why it works: Encouraging imaginative thinking keeps them busy and helps develop their creativity while they wait.
8. Praise Their Patience
“You’re doing a great job being patient! It’ll be worth the wait.”
- Why it works: Positive reinforcement helps the child feel proud of their effort and encourages them to keep practicing patience.
9. Get the Child Involved
Ask if he wants to help prepare his snack, to make him bed with you, or to clean up the playroom together.
10. Make Observational Statements
“I have your apple. I am getting out the slicer now. I am slicing your apple. I am getting out the peanut butter…”
11. Repetition
“Oh, you want apple slices and peanut butter. I understand.”
12. Offer Guidance
Offer to show him where to get an activity out while he waits for his snack
13. Check-In with the Child
“I already answered your question. Did you not hear my answer?”
14. Acknowledgement through a question.
I love this one borrowed from my RIE/Mindful Parenting FB group:
- “Mumma, I want some milk.”
- “Ok, I’d love to pour a glass for you.”
- “Mumma, I want some milk.”
- “Do you want some milk?”
- “Yes.”
Using these golden responses can transform moments of impatience into opportunities for growth and connection, helping children build the skills they need to handle waiting more gracefully.
How many times can a child ask the same question in a period of 30 seconds?
So, in order to avoid losing myself in a warp of sarcasm (by me) and confusion (by my child), I worked hard to think about responses to mitigate my annoyance. Here are a few Golden Responses for the Impatient Child. I’ll use a request for food.