Today as I was chewing the fingernail of my 15-month-old while he was passed out in my arms, I started to laugh hysterically (okay, well, the hysterical part was more in my head than out loud).
I was thinking about how I would have judged anyone who told me that this approach was in fact the most effective one for trimming an antsy, squirmy 15-month-old.
Then I started to think of all the things that would have turned my stomach and my nose up before I had children, which now does nothing but gives me joy for having been productive.
Confessions of a Mama
Here are a few other examples:
- I am on my hands and knees, picking up the play area, when I come upon a semi-stale piece of rice cake. The trash can is on the other side of the house. I quickly pop the crumb in my mouth and grab my toddler, who is about to sprint off the side of the couch.
- I have two seconds to use the bathroom. Do I take the training seat off the toilet? Nope. Not this time. Maybe if the boys were asleep and I could lock or close the door.
- My son needs to be fed, well, wait, he won’t stop breastfeeding. I have to pee. Do I pop him off and leave him crying on the floor, or allow him to continue his pleasant feeding experience and simultaneously find a way to go to the bathroom with him on my lap? Yup. You guessed it. The latter…
- I have a choice: Eat or Shower. I choose Pinterest.
- One hoodie sweatshirt has yogurt smeared on the right shoulder. The other hoodie sweatshirt has a soggy cheerio stuck in the hem. Wear one. Throw the other back to wear on another day. Easy.
- You made mac and cheese for the kids out of the pot for dinner? Sure, why dirty another dish?
- Said toddler needs a Kleenex. You don’t have one. The sleeve works better.
- High five for going poopy in the potty? You betchya!
Please tell me I am not alone.