At night, after the day has long been put to rest, I hold you close to me. You demand me at night time. I often feel frustrated and resentment because you cling to me so tightly I can barely find my breath.

Disproportional anxiety over life's tiny (to me) details drives me crazy during the daylight hours.

I want to scream:

“I am here. I am not going anywhere. I would do anything for you. I am your mom. I am here. I am not going anywhere. Feel safe. Feel secure. I am your mom. I am not going anywhere.”

At night, as we lay side by side, I wrap my arm around you and snuggle closer. I smell your hair consumed by a summertime spent outdoors. I listen to your breath gently move through your body. I feel your chest up and down up and down.

Your body is warm to the touch but I get closer to you.

I can never seem to get close enough. 

In my arms, your body seems fragile, delicate, and vulnerable. I suddenly find myself feeling protective. So, I hold you tighter and I whisper “I love you so much. I would do anything for you. Please hear me.”

You see, at night, after the sun sets, I have already forgotten about the challenges from earlier in the day. I have forgotten about the broken bits and pieces of our home resulting from anger and violence. I have forgotten about the verbal outbursts and taunting dished out during your most challenging moments when your behavior deviates far from the core of your kind, nurturing, devoted, and loyal character. Those moments evoke unrecognizable behavior & embody emotion your tiny body and developing brain cannot possibly process.

So, you explode. 

But at this moment, at night, in the dark, holding you, none of that matters. We are connected as we should be as a mom and a son struggling to make sense of the world.

Both of us.

At this moment, in bed, listening to a story, hearing the crickets, feeling the warmth of your body, you are my kind boy, you are safe, and I know that you will be okay.

These moments are the ones I choose to hold close to my heart day after day after day after day long into the future…

 

My five-year-old was melting down fast. I had to respond in a way that would meet him. I felt like I was walking on egg shells, waiting for the ticking time bomb to go off.

Then I recalled a conversation I had with my talented friend, Dayna, from Lemon Lime Adventures. She reminded me to acknowledge his strong emotions and qualities for exactly what they are. So I took a deep breath and step towards him. I sat down and made sure he could see my eyes:

“You really like to know how we're going to spend our days. You're always prepared and organized. You like to have a plan. I like that about you.” I said calmly and gently.

He stopped chewing on his finger and looked at me. Then he let me hold him. We figured out our next moves together and went on with the day.

It is moments like this one when I am grateful for the guidance I have received from Dayna.

Does the scene sound familiar?

Have you ever wished you could understand your child better?

Do you feel your kid seems a little “too sensitive”, or maybe your child gets aggressive without warning?

Do you wish you knew how to respond better in these moments?

Do you wish you could help your child manage these strong emotions?

You are absolutely not alone.

In fact, I often hear this concern from parents and teachers. They wish they knew WHY kids acted the way they did. They wish they had all the answers to make parenting and educating easier.

What if I told you that I have that secret?

So often when I start to talk to other parents about struggles they are having their children, our conversations come around to behaviors.

It is the most outward part of our children that we see and the one thing that can leave us without answers.

Surprisingly many of the behaviors you see that frustrate you or bewilder you are directly connected to your child's emotions.

Since emotions and “misbehaviors” can be the root of miscommunication with children, I wanted to share this quick FREE 3-Part Video Series just for you offered by my friend, Dayna.

The Calm the Chaos Workshop  was created by Dayna. She is a National Board Certified early childhood teacher and mom of three with over 15 years of experience with children’s behaviors both in and out of the classroom.

She has taken her 15 years in the classroom, 11 years as a parent to a worried child, and extensive brain-based research from experts in the field and created a resource that puts all the information you need to calm the chaos at your fingertips.

This Workshop will help you dig into using your child's emotions and behaviors to make you a better parent and teacher.

What will this series teach me?

This series will teach you:

• How to recognize what is really going on behind big over-reactive behaviors.
• How to observe your child’s behaviors to look for patterns.
• How to respond and connect with your child when they are struggling with big emotions so you can help your child be the best kid they can be.

Each part of the series comes with printables to bring you closer to a calmer home.

1. The key to understanding common misbehaviors {printable + lesson}
2. Getting to the root of troubling behaviors {printable + lesson}
3. Helpful Phrases to say in response to frustrating behaviors {printable + lesson }

Take the first step to understanding and connecting with your child today! Don’t wait too long though, this Free Workshop will only be available for a very short time and then it disappears.

Trust me, these techniques changed my family's life. Dayna will do the same for you.

Click here to sign up for the Free Calm the Chaos Workshop

Let me know if you have any questions!

Marnie

Learn More:  Calm the Chaos Workshop