We were discussing names. My 4 year old asked me to tell him his brother’s middle name. Knowing that his middle name has a meaning, my maiden name, when I told him his brother’s middle name is “Kenneth”, he asked, “Why did you choose that name, Mom?”
Children “get it” more than we adults credit them. Still, though, how do you talk to children about the “BIG” things in life?
I told him “Kenneth” was my father’s name. He looked a bit confused and asked, “Where is your Dad, Mom?” I wasn’t ready for this conversation. I chose to be truthful, sort of. I told him my father died when I was very young.
His response was so genuine and heartfelt: “But how, mama?”
I thought for a moment on this one. My dad died in a tragic, rare accident of a ladder meeting an electrical wire while painting a house.
How do you explain death & grief to a 4-year-old?
So I left it at, “He had an accident, sweetie.” He accepted that answer and we moved onto other important topics, like what kind of cake he wants for his birthday.
I lost my father when I was too young to even remember him or the incident. So, for me, death, well his death at least, is something from a very young age I always understood in some capacity.
How would you have dealt with this situation?
Thanks for reading today.
Marnie