“By simplifying, we protect the environment for childhood’s slow, essential unfolding of self.”
Every day I strive to simplify and to create rhythm with our family. Honestly, most days I fail but the effort is there. I have accepted this journey will be lifelong, at least for this Mama. Today I started reading a book I picked up from my younger son’s co-op. I am fairly certain that it will inspire me and change me. So I want to share a few thoughts with you and highly recommend the read.
The premise is that one of the biggest negatives to living in such a high pace, over stimulating, information driven society (which, for most of us is an every day reality) is that we are doing our children a disservice. Without giving them the space they need to develop, they are at great risk of not only being anxious adults but anxious children. The idea is that if we can simplify, find calm and rhythm in our daily family lives, our children will have the room they need to focus and concentrate on ideas and concepts in depth (therefore the “knowledge” will be greater and last!). To quote the author: “If you give a child less and less complexity, they become more interested, and this cultivates true powers of attention.”
I could go on and on but do yourself a favor and check this book out of your local library or order Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raiser Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne.
One of the first steps Mr. Payne suggests is changing the environment beginning with your child’s “playthings”. He offers a ten point approach to simplifying via the “Discard Pile” of “Toys Without Staying Power”:
- Broken Toys – If broken, not matter how new or how expensive, throw it away.
- Developmentally Inappropriate Toys – Most of us are guilty of bringing in materials suited for children developmentally older than our child’s readiness believing that 1) our child is ready (i.e. advanced) and/or 2) our child will “grow into” the material. Store these materials away for future use. For materials that your child has outgrown, toss them or give them away.
- Conceptually “Fixed” Toys – I struggle with this one because my son is obsessed with Thomas the Train. The idea is that your child’s mind is the one who should be doing the creating and the imagining, not a commercialized character. I get it. Tough one to truly implement, though. Give them away or consign these toys. The resale value is high.
- Toys that “Do Too Much” and Break Too Easily – A highly mechanical toy is likely to functionally fail a lot. Furthermore these types of materials tend to be “fixed” or have a “rigid concept” in the sense that turning a super detailed rocket ship that bursts into the air, for example, into anything else is highly unlikely. So, instead of inviting a child to be imaginative, you’re delivering the imagination to him. The imagining has already been done by the material. Toss them.
- Very High Stimulation Toys – Pretty straight forward.Toss them or give them away.
- Annoying or Offensive Toys – These toys make awful sounds and are typically ugly. Throw them away.
- Toys that Claim to Give Your Child a Developmental Edge - Expensive and “derails play”
- Toys You Are Pressured to Buy – The pressure comes from your child. I am guilty of this one big time. A parent can only handle being asked 49 times. I am sure of that one. In any event, get rid of these toys.
- Toys that Inspire Corrosive Play – I feel fortunate given that we have two boys that we have not entered this phase or, maybe, don’t have boys incline to want these toys. Pretty straightforward. Weapons and guns should go, my friends.
- Toy Multiples – Having two boys so close in age, I am so guilty of this one. Having multiple toys and keeping them is a band-aid to a larger problem. Plus it clutters and takes from your child’s ability to learn how to share and to respect the work, the space and the other child playing with the material. Montessori classrooms are very neat, orderly and simple. There is only one of each material ever placed on the shelf at any time. This approach is deliberate and done for the benefit of the child (and for the environment, generally).
I hope you enjoyed this post. Thanks for reading. I look forward to finishing up this book and sharing more with you.
Warmly,
Marnie
Marnie Craycroft
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Hi Marnie!
I’ve recently subscribed to your blog and love it! I am also homescholing my preschool age children.I just got Simplicity Parenting from the library on Friday. I already love the ideas that you shared with us and can’t wait to read it for myself.
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Welcome iliana! I am so happy to have you visit my blog! Please share your homeschool experiences with me!
This is so helpful to think about as we approach holiday shopping for our kids and try to figure out what toys to buy them! Less is truly more!
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However, should encourage try fixing the broken things. Should encourage throwing away less and less and use home recycling.
Yes! I agree. Or finding a way to up-cycle or consign them. The impression I got was that “tossing them” was more about finding a new home for them. Thanks for your comment!
~ Marnie
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Can’t wait to read this book! Thank you for another excellent post!
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Thanks for this post. I’ve got the book on hold at the library. The holiday season of consumerism reinforces the idea that more is better. I like leaving all of these trappings behind as much as I can, and this post helped remind me of what is most important during this frenetic time of year.
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I think trains and tracks are developmental. JDaniel rarely builds tracks with them .He makes ramps for animals to cross and roads for his construction equipment.
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I totally agree!
Trains are pretty amazing. We definitely need to hone our trains though. Waaayyy too many…
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Hi Marnie,
We have started simplifying our toys. Thought I would share our experience with you: http://jewishhomeschoolnyc.blogspot.com/2012/11/simplicity-parenting.html
ilana recently posted…Simplicity Parenting
I have the book and have picked it up and failed to get past chapter one so many times. Mainly because I’m such a horder that the decluttering idea scares me. Maybe this will be the year I read it, but if not hopefully I can get the essence from your posts.
A thought on your comment that Thomas the tank engine is a “fixed” toy: doesn’t that depend on how your child plays with it. My son has lots of cars, but he uses them in many different ways, the obvious driving way, imaginary rescue scenarios, stacking and sorting etc. Even though Thomas is sold as something fixed doesn’t mean your child will play with it in that way. If your child is able to play more fluidly with it I’d consider it to be OK to keep – just a thought but maybe I’m undermining the simplicity bit.
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Hi there! I completely agree with you, which is why I struggle with that one! We love Thomas and my son takes his trains to lands far off from Sodor Island! Thanks for your comment….love your blog!
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