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Yup, I Share a Bed with my Sons Every Night

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Parenting sleep. Is that an oxymoron?

I don’t know if I am failing my kids.

What I do know? I know what feels right.

Maybe that is what’s missing in all these parenting wars.

Remembering the most simple parenting approach is the one that feels right to you.

I do know that I wish I hadn’t tried to sleep train my oldest at 4 months.

I know that I wish I hadn’t held the door shut on my oldest, then 2 years old, because he was supposed to be sleeping in his own bed.

He screamed and banged on the door for me.

I held on for as long as I could…then I opened the door and held him tightly.

What was the point?

PARENTING SLEEP

When my second son was born a short 18 months after my first son, I felt I had little choice. After suffering postpartum depression after my first born, I knew I needed to make sure I got sleep. So, we piled into bed together everyday – as a matter of survival – for naps and eventually for night sleep, too. We’d get into one of their beds for a book and all fall asleep.

We slept best as a family. I knew that truth.

Those moments, all piled together, were peaceful.

I cherished those moments, you know those moment that I will never get back, every day.

sleeping-with-baby

How lucky am I to be able to experience those moments?

If you had asked me about a ‘family bed’ before I had kids, I would have laughed in your face.

Even though with a few seconds of reflecting I would have been able to recall that I climbed into bed with my mom most nights throughout my childhood even later in my childhood.

There was no safer place. I can still feel the safety of my mother next to me.

why-i-sleep-with-my-baby-every-night

Why would I take that away from my children?

With our third son, again, I didn’t fight sleep. From the moment he was born we took naps and slept every night together.  I choose to leave my anxiety behind and embrace, no, more than embrace, I choose to relish in the hours, the minutes, the seconds of feeling the closeness with my sons, to hear their breath, to feel their warm bodies…to feel suspended in time…if only for a moment…

…and to know that I can’t possibly be failing…

Marnie

About Marnie Craycroft

Marnie hails from Maine where she spent summers buried in sand and winters buried in snow. She is the daughter of a nearly four decade veteran of the public school systems. Teaching has always been a part of her life. She founded Carrots Are Orange in 2010.

Carrots Are Orange is a Montessori learning and living website for parents and teachers.

Marnie graduated from Wesleyan University in 1999 with a BA in Economics. She spent nearly a decade working in investment management. In 2006, she earned her MA in business from the University of Washington’s Foster School of Business.

Marnie moved to the west coast in 1999 and currently lives in Boulder with her husband and three sons. She is Montessori trained. Her work has been featured on Apartment Therapy, Buzzfeed, PBS Kids, BabyCenter, the Melissa & Doug blog, Huffington Post, and WhattoExpect.com. Besides writing, passions include running (usually after her three sons), photography, and outdoor adventures.

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